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Written by: someone5
Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Gilmore Girls are properties of Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended.
SUMMARY: Miss Patty decides to get married. Again. A Gilmore girl accidentally becomes involved in quite a scandal. Lane and Dave get very serious, while Rory and Jess continually struggle with distance. Enter new siblings and lost loves, not to mention the occasional Kirk cameo, and you’ve got yourself a hullabaloo!
DISCLAIMER: I own the Gilmore girls, as well as Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the Tooth Fairy (thieving ho). They hang out in my basement. We party on Friday’s. It’s a cool set up.
A/N: Heh heh, hullabaloo. What a funny word. I crack myself up sometimes. ;)
Onto Chappie One...
o.o.o.o.o
Previously On Gilmore Girls:
(I think this phrase officially belongs to Holly Gilmore)
o.o.o
RICHARD: Ah, Rory, remind me to give you Jess’s book to take back to him before you go.
RORY: Okay. (after a moment) Wait, what?
RICHARD: His book. That one he loaned me.
o.o.o
LORELAI: Were you planning on telling me that you were going to be staying with Jess all weekend?
o.o.o
RICHARD: He stopped by here earlier in the week and loaned me a novel; wonderful piece of literature. Be sure to tell him I enjoyed it.
EMILY: He came here? Richard, you didn’t tell me this.
RICHARD: Yes, said he was in the area. Had a meeting concerning that promotion he got.
RORY: Promotion?
EMILY: Doesn’t he work at one of those awful Wal-Marts?
LORELAI: (snorting) Nowhere to go but up.
RICHARD: He didn’t tell you this?
RORY: (shocked) No, he didn’t.
o.o.o
RORY: Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was tonight? I go on and on all the time about how great you are and about what an amazing relationship we have and I-I’m just constantly defending us to them, to my mom and to my grandma, and then this happens! It looked like we don’t talk, like you don’t tell me anything!
JESS: Who cares what it looked like to them?
RORY: I care!
o.o.o
MICHELLE: (concerned) Sweetie, what happened?
RORY: I think…I think I broke up with Jess.
MICHELLE: (softly) You think?
RORY: I didn’t mean to.
MICHELLE: (confused) Did you tell him that you didn’t mean to, hon?
o.o.o
LINDSAY: What is going on?
JESS: Nothing.
LINDSAY: Something happened.
JESS: What do you care?
o.o.o
SOOKIE: Did you tell your mom anything about any of your boyfriends?
LORELAI: Oh, so not the same situation!
SOOKIE: Come on Lore. She knows you don’t like Jess.
o.o.o
DEAN: I never see you. And I know how we can fix that.
LINDSAY: (smiling) Really? How?
DEAN: Lindsay, let’s move in together.
LINDSAY: (shocked) What?
o.o.o
DAVE: You look sad.
JESS: I’m not sad.
DAVE: You seem sad. And if you’re sad, then I don’t have anyone to watch Monster Garage with.
JESS: Well, as long as your motives are pure.
o.o.o
LORELAI: (softly) Hon, what’s wrong?
RORY: He agreed.
LORELAI: Who?
RORY: I said that we should break up and he agreed.
LORELAI: Sweetie, what are you talking about?
RORY: I didn’t mean it, mom.
(The tears behind her eyes pool over as a confused LORELAI hugs her tightly, gently smoothing her hair.)
o.o.o
(end previously)
o.o.o.o.o
Chapter One: Good Morning, Starshine!
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOME::.. (Early Morning - The living room is disheveled, half-empty ice cream cartons and pizza boxes strewn across the floor. In the middle of the mess lay LORELAI and RORY, both awake, both staring at the ceiling.)
LORELAI: Our floor is even more uncomfortable than that couch.
RORY: I didn’t think it was possible for anything to be more uncomfortable than that couch.
LORELAI: Hey, I love that couch.
RORY: (defensive) Me too.
LORELAI: (groans) Ehn, I can’t get up.
RORY: Then don’t.
LORELAI: Someone has to clean this place.
RORY: Since when?
LORELAI: Since we fell asleep watching Them last night and I had nightmares about ten foot long, radiation-mutated ants breaking in through the side of our house and paralyzing our already weak bodies with enough formic acid to kill twenty men, all just to steal our sugar.
RORY: Do they even have a name for what’s wrong with you?
LORELAI: Not yet. I’m still being studied.
RORY: (pondering) Do we have any sugar in this household?
LORELAI: Duh. There’s sugar in the melted ice cream that is laying mere inches from my face. (examining it) Oh, eww.
RORY: Right, the ice cream.
LORELAI: (softly) There tends to be copious amounts of sugar in your typical wallowing foods.
RORY: Yep.
(RORY sits up and tries to ease the kinks out of her stiff neck; LORELAI follows suit.)
LORELAI: Do you want to talk about it some more?
RORY: I think the whole Jess topic was exercised to death last night. And then we proceeded to beat it with a stick, or…a baseball bat. An aluminum baseball bat.
LORELAI: So that’s a no?
RORY: That’s a no more this morning.
LORELAI: You okay?
RORY: Fine. Just sore.
LORELAI: Well, why don’t you shower first? Steal all the hot water if you must. I’ll pick up out here. Our flamethrower is out of commission, and it’s common knowledge that a flamethrower is the only defense one has against a giant ant.
RORY: (smiling) That movie is classic, isn’t it?
LORELAI: Top five, easily.
(RORY nods and stands up, stretching quickly and heading for the stairs.)
RORY: I won’t be too long.
LORELAI: I’ll have coffee waiting!
(LORELAI looks back to the living room and furrows her brow, unsure of where to start. Instead of beginning the overwhelming task, she lies back down and covers her face with a pillow.)
..::OPENING CREDITS::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOME::.. (LORELAI comes hopping downstairs while putting on a shoe. RORY is sitting on the couch with her laptop open.)
LORELAI: Did you see how graceful I was there?
RORY: (distracted) Uh-huh.
LORELAI: Liar. But since you’re doing schoolwork, I’ll refrain from being offended.
RORY: (glancing up) Instead, you’ll be upset that you’re not the center of attention.
LORELAI: (gasping) I am not going to dignify that with a response.
RORY: ‘Cause I’m right.
LORELAI: (plopping down next to her) So what are you up to?
RORY: Actually, I have an essay that I wanted to work on, if it’s okay that I stay here. If I’m outside of my dorm, Paris is there, and the dorm itself gets noisy. Michelle and Julie are involved in a bit of a roommate war, and I’d rather not get put in the middle.
LORELAI: Of course you can stay.
RORY: Thanks.
LORELAI: So, that’s it? Just a lazy Sunday with Jeeves and dictionaries?
RORY: Pretty much.
LORELAI: No Jess on the schedule?
RORY: (pensively) Nope.
LORELAI: I really think you should talk to him, Rory.
RORY: I really just want to work on this essay, if you don’t mind.
LORELAI: (sighing) If you’re going to ignore this, then I have to butt in here, kid.
RORY: (hopefully) Actually, you don’t have to do anything.
LORELAI: You’re going to be miserable until this is fixed.
RORY: Maybe there’s nothing to fix.
LORELAI: Do you really believe that?
RORY: I just don’t want to deal with this right now, okay?
LORELAI: No, not okay. Rory, you’re a big kid and this is a big kid problem that you can’t just overlook.
RORY: I thought you would’ve been over the moon to find out that we’re not…that we…that I…
LORELAI: You know that I have my reservations about this guy–
RORY: Reservations that you insist on reminding me of at every possible second.
LORELAI: Look, you’ve been saying it forever, and on some level, you’re right; I don’t know him like you do. And there must be something there if you’re going to be this upset about a fight and–
RORY: It was more than a fight, mom.
LORELAI: It doesn’t have to be if you’d just talk to him.
RORY: He won’t want to.
LORELAI: Who cares what he wants? (Off of RORY’S warning look, she continues) Oh, you know what I mean.
RORY: I just need to think about it, alright? Or, not think about it. (gesturing to the computer) I need to do this right now and deal with Jess later.
LORELAI: (relenting) Okay. I’m going to go meet Sookie for lunch. I think we’re finally going to pick a date to break ground on the inn.
RORY: Like with a ceremony and everything?
LORELAI: We’ll all wear hardhats and shovel a scoop of dirt at the same time.
RORY: And I’ll take a picture, and we’ll frame it and put it in the lobby when you open.
LORELAI: Just like Donald Trump. Only in heels, and with way better hair.
RORY: (sincerely) That’s great, mom, really.
LORELAI: Hey, maybe you’ll have talked to Jess by dinner?
RORY: (uncomfortably) Sure. Maybe.
(LORELAI kisses her on the forehead and heads for the door. RORY turns and calls after her.)
RORY: Hey mom? I didn’t mean to not tell you. About my plans to stay with Jess this weekend. You would have known about it. I just…
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: I don’t like that we can’t talk about…him.
LORELAI: I don’t either. But I think we’ve made some headway, don’t you?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: And for the record, I really think you should talk to him.
RORY: Okay.
(RORY offers LORELAI a small but sad smile and turns back to her schoolwork. LORELAI looks after her contemplatively before picking up her purse and exiting the house.)
(SCENE CUT TO DINER. LORELAI enters and sits at the counter, greeting JESS with an overly chipper smile.)
LORELAI: Good morning, Starshine! Can we talk?
(Instead of responding, JESS pours her a cup of coffee.)
LORELAI: (keeping the upbeat tone) Will you just listen, then?
JESS: I make no promises.
LORELAI: (sighing) Rory’s really upset, Jess.
JESS: (shrugs) Doesn’t concern me, now does it?
LORELAI: Look, I get that you’re stubborn. Trust me, if anyone is going to get that, it’s going to be me. Me, the woman who has purposefully, on numerous occasions, made the faux pas of pairing black with navy blue just to piss off my always fashion-conscious mother. But the thing is, I may have passed that little smidge of a stubborn streak onto my otherwise charming and levelheaded daughter. Therein lies our problem.
JESS: Our problem? (wryly) You hate me.
LORELAI: I may dislike you with an unbridled passion that resides deep within my soul, yes, but for some reason still unknown to god and myself, Rory does not.
JESS: She’s the one who started this. If she wants to fix it, she knows where to find me.
LORELAI: You had a part in this, too. You are half of the whole relationship, buddy.
JESS: Whatever.
LORELAI: (exasperated) It’s just a stupid fight that-
JESS: Is that what she told you? (shaking head) Huh.
LORELAI: She didn’t mean it, Jess. You two just need to talk.
JESS: Then why isn’t she here?
LORELAI: She didn’t send me, if that’s what you’re wondering.
JESS: If you say so.
LORELAI: (scowling) You are quite possibly the most aggravating person on the face of this earth, right above Star Jones but only a few notches below Michel.
JESS: Stop it, you’re making me blush.
LORELAI: Fine. I give up.
(LORELAI snatches her purse off of the seat next to her and stands to leave. She gets to the door before doubling back in one fluid motion, stopping in front of the counter once more.)
LORELAI: I just have one more thing to say before I leave.
JESS: Shocker.
LORELAI: If you love her as much as she seems to think you do, or did, or what-ev-er, then you’ll drop that chip from your shoulder and at least listen to her, alright?
JESS: You want that coffee to go or what?
LORELAI: (gasping) You just surpassed Michel!
JESS: Should I do a dance?
LORELAI: (irately) Goodbye, Jess.
..::FIRST COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO WESTON’S BAKERY::.. (SOOKIE shuffles in carrying a leaflet of papers and sits down with LORELAI at a small table near the window.)
SOOKIE: I’m late. Am I late? I’m so sorry if I’m late.
LORELAI: You’re not late.
SOOKIE: I’m not? But, I’m always late. Always. (gasps) Oh my god, it’s because my watch broke.
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: My watch broke on Wednesday while I was washing my Messermeister butcher knife.
LORELAI: I keep telling you that you have to take it off before you do dishes.
SOOKIE: It hadn’t caused any problems before.
LORELAI: Yes, but the repeated submersion of anything mechanical in soapy water will take its toll eventually. At least, I’d assume it would. I’ve never actually done dishes. Paper plates, plastic knives and forks. They work just as well, you know.
SOOKIE: But Messermeister butcher knives have to be hand washed and sharpened after every use to ensure a long shelf life.
LORELAI: Such a high-maintenance utensil.
SOOKIE: Anyway, my watch broke and now I’m show up to places on time.
LORELAI: Weird!
SOOKIE: I was early to my hair appointment yesterday, Lorelai. Early.
LORELAI: This is a good thing.
SOOKIE: It’s freaking me out.
LORELAI: (understandingly) Oh.
SOOKIE: (checking LORELAI’S watch) You’re sure I was one time?
LORELAI: (looking at watch hopefully) Well, maybe a little…nope. Right on time.
SOOKIE: Gah.
LORELAI: We’ll get you a new watch.
SOOKIE: Soon. I can’t handle this much longer.
(LORELAI notices the stack of papers that SOOKIE brought.)
LORELAI: Oh, are those the estimates?
SOOKIE: Yeah, Tom dropped them off this morning.
LORELAI: Well, let’s get started.
SOOKIE: And I was ready when Tom showed up. I wasn’t still in my robe, I wasn’t blow-drying my hair, and I didn’t just have eyeliner around the one eye, you know, and like you just looked through one of those telescope-y things that has ink around it, like in the Three Stooges and stuff. God, that’s so kitschy. But not this time. (unnerved) I was up and clean and dressed and I had eyeliner on both eyes.
LORELAI: (seriously) You have got to calm down about this.
(SCENE CUT TO WOODBURY. Band’s house. JESS the house to find LANE and DAVE making out on the couch/futon/DAVE’S makeshift bed. They both hear the door open, but DAVE seems unfazed. LANE, however, jumps away from him and bats at his hands.)
LANE: Jess, hi.
JESS: Am I interrupting something?
(LANE and DAVE answer him simultaneously.)
LANE: No!
DAVE: We were celebrating!
(JESS raises an eyebrow and begins backing towards the door.)
JESS: I’ll come back later.
LANE: No need for that. I’m just…I’m gonna go…
(JESS continues eyeing her, waiting for a response.)
LANE: Well, this is awkward.
DAVE: (to JESS) Next time we’ll hang a sock or a sign or something.
LANE: No we won’t.
JESS: I’m just gonna go to my room.
DAVE: Wait! Don’t you want to know what we’re celebrating?
JESS: I really don’t think I do.
DAVE: I got a job!
JESS: You have a job. You work at Kinko’s.
DAVE: And I was working about ten hours a week. Which is great when you’re living at home, but I have expenses now. So, I found a new job.
JESS: (relenting) What’s your new job, Dave?
DAVE: I’m Miss Patty’s personal assistant!
JESS: What?
DAVE: (excited) I know, right? I went to the dance studio yesterday to ask her if she knew of anything open around town, ‘cause she knows those things–
LANE: She knows everything.
DAVE: Exactly. And we got to talking and she told me that she needs some help around the dance studio, and before I knew it, Bob’s your uncle, I had the job.
(A shocked and disturbed JESS pulls a worn barstool out from under the counter.)
JESS: And I need to sit down.
DAVE: (con’t) I’ll be helping her set up for her “Young with Yoga” classes and her “Brood of Ballerinas” seminars and stuff. And she said that after I get the hang of things, maybe I could instruct my own palates beginners group.
JESS: Oh my god.
DAVE: Pretty exciting, huh?
JESS: Sure. (sarcastically) Very rock and roll.
DAVE: Hey, all the greats had to suffer for their art, okay? I’m merely doing what I have to do until we get a new bassist and a new lead singer, and then a manager and a record deal and an actual record and a chart topping single and incalculable wealth. And don’t expect me to share that wealth with you once it comes along.
JESS: I’ll stop counting on that money for my future, then.
DAVE: (matter-of-factly) Plus, she’s paying my double what I was making before.
JESS: Okay.
DAVE: And winter’s coming, and we’re going to need heat. Don’t you want heat?
JESS: I’m not saying anything else.
DAVE: And food, we need food. And then there are holidays, and my lady here is getting a gift. An expensive one. Well, moderately expensive. Don’t have that incalculable wealth yet, but it’s the thought that counts. (to LANE) The point is, it won’t be made out of Popsicle sticks again, I promise.
LANE: You’re sweet.
JESS: Just darling.
DAVE: (jumps up) I’m gonna go get us a pizza. A celebratory pizza. And I’m getting extra cheese, ‘cause I can afford that now!
LANE: Ooh, and breadsticks!
DAVE: I’m not rich, Lane.
JESS: (reluctantly) I’ll pay for the breadsticks.
DAVE: Breadsticks it is, then!
(DAVE grabs his jacket rushes out the door. JESS shakes his head and stands up, heading for his room. LANE turns around on the couch to face him.)
LANE: Sorry about that. The, uh, kissing.
JESS: Not a problem. I’d go with Dave’s idea about the sign, though.
LANE: Okay. Yeah, good.
(JESS nods. LANE doesn’t say anything else, so JESS begins down the hallway again.)
LANE: Uh, Jess?
(JESS backtracks back into the living room.)
JESS: Yeah?
LANE: Are you okay?
JESS: I’m peachy-keen.
LANE: Jess, come on.
JESS: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
LANE: I know what happened.
JESS: Okay.
LANE: Well, I just wanted to make sure that you’re…okay.
JESS: I’m fine.
LANE: She’s not.
JESS: Not my problem.
LANE: Doesn’t mean you don’t care.
JESS: Why am I supposed to fix this?
LANE: What?
JESS: First Lorelai, now you. I did not do this, and I do not have to fix it.
LANE: I didn’t mean that.
JESS: Right.
LANE: Jess, I didn’t. Look, Rory screwed up. And you’re my friend, too. Kind of. I mean, we are roommates, so that says something about the fact that we get along well enough to share the same living space, which may suggest friendship to some.
(When JESS doesn’t respond, LANE continues.)
LANE: I don’t know what I’m saying. Just…nevermind.
(JESS continues to his room and the door closes softly. LANE turns around on the couch and turns on TV, only to turn it off immediately. Instead, the moves over to the stereo and puts on “Boys Don’t Cry” by the Cure and turns it up. She sits back down on the couch and wait for a few moments. JESS soon appears from the back of the house and sits next to her.)
JESS: Very funny.
LANE: I thought so.
JESS: Good song, though.
LANE: Definitely.
..::SECOND COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO STARS HOLLOW::.. (Gazebo. LINDSAY is sitting on a bench, looking around expectantly. Suddenly, she jumps up and greets DEAN, whom she was waiting for.)
LINDSAY: Hey!
(She tips her head up and kisses him.)
DEAN: Hey. What’s got you in such a good mood?
LINDSAY: I’m just excited to see you.
DEAN: That’s good.
LINDSAY: And I’ve made a decision. About what you asked. The other day, do you remember?
DEAN: Of course I remember. (laughing) I’m assuming you’re happy with the decision?
LINDSAY: Well, Dean, I really am.
DEAN: And?
LINDSAY: And I have to be honest with you. At first, I didn’t think it was a good idea. (DEAN’S face falls, but LINDSAY smiles reassuringly) But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. We’d share expenses, we’d see more of each other. So, yes. I want to move in with you.
DEAN: (thrilled) Really?
LINDSAY: Yes!
DEAN: Oh my god!
LINDSAY: I know!
(DEAN envelops LINDSAY in an overjoyed hug. LINDSAY hugs him back as a look of contentment fades into one of apprehension.)
(SCENE CUT TO WOODBURY. Band’s house, night. The sounds of heavy bass and punk rock emanate from an open window. RORY reaches the porch and knocks loudly, trying to overcome the noise. While waiting, she wrings her hands nervously. JESS answers the door and steps back, shock evident on his face.)
JESS: Hey.
(RORY gives him a short wave without looking at him. JESS closes the door behind him, barely dulling the music. He motions to the yard and she follows him, both coming to a stop in front of the Jeep.)
RORY: My mom let me borrow the car.
JESS: Oh.
RORY: Party?
JESS: Dave got a new job.
RORY: Oh.
JESS: He’s a little too excited.
(RORY nods and looks down again, poking at the dirt with the toe of her shoe. The two stand in silence for a few moments, neither making eye contact. JESS sighs and RORY puts on a determined face and begins an almost frantic rant.)
RORY: I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry. I overreacted. I was hurt — I still am hurt. But I didn’t mean to take it that far. I didn’t mean to…I-I didn’t.
(JESS doesn’t seem phased by her words, causing tears to gather behind her eyes.)
RORY: (pleading) I’m sorry, Jess, please. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. Please.
JESS: I was going to tell you.
RORY: I know you were, I know, I should have waited for you to come to me, I should have. I completely overreacted, and I am so sorry.
JESS: You don’t have to keep saying that.
RORY: Yes I do, because I said horrible things to you and about you, about us. And I am so-
JESS: Rory-
RORY: (quickly) I didn’t mean it.
JESS: Okay.
RORY: Okay?
JESS: (shrugging) You’re sorry, I’m sorry. (nods) Okay.
RORY: I thought that…well, when you just walked away like that, I thought that you wanted to break up, too. Not that I wanted to break up, but I thought that you thought that I wanted to, and I thought that you were agreeing. (pause) That really scared me, Jess. I don’t want…
JESS: I love you.
(RORY stops talking, mouth slightly agape, obviously not expecting such an earnest admission.)
JESS: I don’t say it enough, I know. But I do.
RORY: I know you do.
JESS: I don’t do this whole…communication thing very well sometimes. You know that.
RORY: (nodding) I do.
JESS: Just, be patient, okay? Don’t give up on me just yet.
RORY: Okay.
JESS: And I- I’ll say it more.
RORY: You don’t have to.
JESS: But I should.
RORY: (smiling) I love you, too, Jess.
JESS: Good to know.
RORY: God, I hate that we lost our weekend.
JESS: Only some of it. Just one day.
RORY: (sadly) And one night.
JESS: Next Saturday?
RORY: That’s a whole week away.
JESS: I know.
RORY: (sweetly) Move to Yale with me.
JESS: I don’t actually go there.
RORY: We’ll doctor some papers.
JESS: They don’t have co-ed dorm rooms.
RORY: Well, Jessica, we’ll just dress you in drag and pass you off as a masculine woman.
JESS: I’m insulted.
RORY: Are you?
JESS: I’d be a very masculine woman.
RORY: Oh, my mistake.
JESS: So, we do all of that, and then-
RORY: And then we could see each other whenever we wanted to.
JESS: ‘Cause we’d be living together.
RORY: Exactly. (realizing what she’s implied, she adds awkwardly) Well, hypothetically, that is.
JESS: So, hypothetically, you’d want to move in with me.
RORY: Hypothetically? (pauses) I miss you. A lot.
JESS: Huh.
RORY: (sheepishly) Did I mention how sorry I was?
JESS: I think so.
RORY: Okay.
JESS: You want to come in?
RORY: That depends. Are you going to ask me to spend the night?
JESS: Don’t you have studying to do, Miss Ivy League?
RORY: I’ll have tomorrow afternoon.
JESS: Your mom doesn’t need the car?
RORY: She doesn’t work on Sunday. So, can I stay?
(JESS takes her face in his hands and nods, leaning closer to capture her lips in an insanely passionate kiss.)
(SCENE CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE. LORELAI answers a knock at the door.)
LORELAI: Took you long enough!
LUKE: You just called me ten minutes ago. This was record time.
LORELAI: (grabbing the bag from his hands) I haven’t eaten in hours.
(LUKE follows her inside and closes the door. She continues complaining as they enter the kitchen, where she begins dumping the burger and fries out of the bag. He takes a seat and listens intently.)
LORELAI: Sookie and I met this morning to make some actual headway on preparations for the inn, and then we had a meeting with Tom that lasted two hours longer than it should have, and then we went straight to Hartford after that for a quick face-to-face with this designer. Now, I know what you’re thinking. We don’t even have walls yet; why do we need a designer? Well, this chick has some ubber amazing credentials, and you need to book her months in advance.
LUKE: So, did you book her?
LORELAI: (flippantly) Oh, god no. Too expensive. Besides, we don’t even have walls yet.
LUKE: So you took the meeting with her because…
LORELAI: Because we wanted to look through her books and steal her ideas. Plus, we got to pretend to be rich for a few hours.
LUKE: How’d that go?
LORELAI: Well, I’m a great actress. We’re talking Oscar-worthy, babe.
(LORELAI stops short and leans down to kiss him.)
LORELAI: Hi, by the way. I think I forgot that part.
LUKE: Hey yourself.
(LORELAI sits next to him and unwraps her burger.)
LORELAI: So hungry.
LUKE: You could have just come to the diner if you were starving.
(LORELAI shakes her head and talks through a mouthful of food.)
LORELAI: I gave Rory the car, and I was too weak to walk.
LUKE: Rory’s car break down or something?
LORELAI: No, she left it at school. It’s kind of a long story. She was gonna spend the weekend with Jess, but they had a fight, and so she was here, but she decided she wanted to talk to him, so I let her take my car, and then I was stranded here and Pete is the only guy in town that delivers, and I really wasn’t in the mood for pizza, and that is where you come in handy.
LUKE: I feel used.
LORELAI: My heart is breaking. Ooh, hot sauce!
LUKE: What?
(LORELAI jumps up and rummages through the fridge.)
LORELAI: Hot sauce, for the burger and fries. Duh.
LUKE: My mistake.
LORELAI: (sitting back down) Aren’t you eating?
LUKE: No, I already had dinner. I didn’t realize I’d be summoned over here to cater to you.
LORELAI: (waving a french fry in his face) You don’t want one?
LUKE: I’ll pass.
LORELAI: I don’t think you know what you’re missing. (jumping) Oh, wanna watch a movie?
LUKE: I’m here, aren’t I?
LORELAI: Don’t sound so excited.
LUKE: Nothing fruity. Nothing with David Bowie or Molly Ringwald.
(LORELAI gasps and throws a fry at him, hitting him in the face. She then rises from her seat and huffs off to the living room.)
LUKE: (calling after her) Nothing with Madonna, either.
LORELAI: (OS) But A League of Their Own is actually a good movie! And you like baseball!
..::THIRD COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOUSE::.. (Morning; RORY enters the house and tosses her keys onto the table in the entryway.)
RORY: Mom? Mom!
(When she gets no response, she moves into the living room just as LORELAI barrels down the stairs in a slinky pink robe.)
LORELAI: Shh, shh, shh.
(RORY looks around and continues in a hushed whisper.)
RORY: What’s wrong?
LORELAI: (quietly) Luke’s here.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Luke is here.
RORY: He spent the night?
LORELAI: (nodding furiously) Uh-huh.
RORY: (excited) Oh my god!
LORELAI: (grinning) I know!
RORY: (taken aback) Oh my god.
LORELAI: Whoa, change of tone.
RORY: Luke’s in our house. Naked. He’s naked and he’s in our house and I’m here and I should not be here.
LORELAI: (nodding) Yeah, okay. (pushing her towards the door) Go.
RORY: You’re kicking me out?
LORELAI: Do you want to see Luke walk down those stairs in nothing but his birthday suit?
RORY: (scrunching up her face) No!
LORELAI: Then high tail it out of here, missy.
RORY: I’m gone.
(RORY continues to the door and LORELAI begins going up the stairs before stopping on the landing and turning to her daughter.)
LORELAI: Psst, Ror.
RORY: Huh?
LORELAI: You and Jess okay?
RORY: Yeah, we’re good. He’s gonna drive me back to school later.
LORELAI: Aw, hon, I’m glad.
RORY: Me too.
LORELAI: (smiling) Well, don’t dawdle. Go!
(RORY nods and leaves quickly and LORELAI grins to herself before hurrying up the stairs.)
(SCENE CUT TO STARS HOLLOW. Mid-morning. RORY and JESS are walking around town arm-in-arm.)
RORY: You went to visit my grandpa!
JESS: Are you mocking me?
RORY: I’m shocked and amused.
JESS: I was in the area. (sarcastically) It would have been rude not to stop by.
RORY: Would you have “stopped by” to see my grandma?
(JESS gives her a skeptical look.)
RORY: See, you two are friends! It’s cute.
JESS: This is why I didn’t tell you.
RORY: (swatting his arm) And how dare you give him a book before me.
JESS: ‘Cause you’re so good at sharing.
RORY: Hey, come on. I loaned you that Kerouac book, Desolation Angels.
JESS: Three weeks after I asked for it.
RORY: I was in the middle of reading it.
JESS: By the time you gave it to me, I’d already bought myself a copy.
RORY: It’s not my fault you’re impatient.
JESS: And it’s not my fault that you’re a slow reader.
RORY: And we are stopping this conversation right now.
JESS: Giving up?
RORY: No, just stepping in before blood is shed. So, tell me about your new job.
JESS: It’s not a new job.
RORY: (smiling) So, tell me about your new job.
JESS: I’m doing the same stuff that I was doing before.
RORY: Then why’s it called a promotion, mister?
JESS: ‘Cause instead of just moving stuff around, I can tell other people to move stuff around, too.
RORY: You’re the boss!
JESS: Not the boss. I’m like…the middle man.
RORY: You’re the boss of the lower men.
JESS: Sure.
RORY: Now you’re just humoring me.
JESS: Uh-huh.
RORY: Aren’t you excited?
JESS: Nope.
RORY: Not at all?
JESS: Not at all.
RORY: Did you get a raise?
JESS: (shrugs) Eh, sorta.
RORY: Are you excited about that?
JESS: If I say yes will you quit asking me?
RORY: Yes.
JESS: Then, yes, I was ecstatic.
RORY: Good.
(The two walk past MISS PATTY’S and wave at DAVE, who is standing in the doorway, overseeing a bunch of five-year olds working on an autumn leaf dance. He waves back eagerly before turning to PATTY for further instructions.)
RORY: That’s gonna be weird.
JESS: Oh, yeah.
..::END SHOW::..
A/N: I fixed it! :p I couldn't keep 'em apart, you all know that! Hope you liked this one. Drop me a review if you can! Thanks for reading. :)
DISCLAIMER: I own the Gilmore girls, as well as Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the Tooth Fairy (thieving ho). They hang out in my basement. We party on Friday’s. It’s a cool set up.
A/N: Heh heh, hullabaloo. What a funny word. I crack myself up sometimes. ;)
Onto Chappie One...
o.o.o.o.o
Previously On Gilmore Girls:
(I think this phrase officially belongs to Holly Gilmore)
o.o.o
RICHARD: Ah, Rory, remind me to give you Jess’s book to take back to him before you go.
RORY: Okay. (after a moment) Wait, what?
RICHARD: His book. That one he loaned me.
o.o.o
LORELAI: Were you planning on telling me that you were going to be staying with Jess all weekend?
o.o.o
RICHARD: He stopped by here earlier in the week and loaned me a novel; wonderful piece of literature. Be sure to tell him I enjoyed it.
EMILY: He came here? Richard, you didn’t tell me this.
RICHARD: Yes, said he was in the area. Had a meeting concerning that promotion he got.
RORY: Promotion?
EMILY: Doesn’t he work at one of those awful Wal-Marts?
LORELAI: (snorting) Nowhere to go but up.
RICHARD: He didn’t tell you this?
RORY: (shocked) No, he didn’t.
o.o.o
RORY: Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was tonight? I go on and on all the time about how great you are and about what an amazing relationship we have and I-I’m just constantly defending us to them, to my mom and to my grandma, and then this happens! It looked like we don’t talk, like you don’t tell me anything!
JESS: Who cares what it looked like to them?
RORY: I care!
o.o.o
MICHELLE: (concerned) Sweetie, what happened?
RORY: I think…I think I broke up with Jess.
MICHELLE: (softly) You think?
RORY: I didn’t mean to.
MICHELLE: (confused) Did you tell him that you didn’t mean to, hon?
o.o.o
LINDSAY: What is going on?
JESS: Nothing.
LINDSAY: Something happened.
JESS: What do you care?
o.o.o
SOOKIE: Did you tell your mom anything about any of your boyfriends?
LORELAI: Oh, so not the same situation!
SOOKIE: Come on Lore. She knows you don’t like Jess.
o.o.o
DEAN: I never see you. And I know how we can fix that.
LINDSAY: (smiling) Really? How?
DEAN: Lindsay, let’s move in together.
LINDSAY: (shocked) What?
o.o.o
DAVE: You look sad.
JESS: I’m not sad.
DAVE: You seem sad. And if you’re sad, then I don’t have anyone to watch Monster Garage with.
JESS: Well, as long as your motives are pure.
o.o.o
LORELAI: (softly) Hon, what’s wrong?
RORY: He agreed.
LORELAI: Who?
RORY: I said that we should break up and he agreed.
LORELAI: Sweetie, what are you talking about?
RORY: I didn’t mean it, mom.
(The tears behind her eyes pool over as a confused LORELAI hugs her tightly, gently smoothing her hair.)
o.o.o
(end previously)
o.o.o.o.o
Chapter One: Good Morning, Starshine!
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOME::.. (Early Morning - The living room is disheveled, half-empty ice cream cartons and pizza boxes strewn across the floor. In the middle of the mess lay LORELAI and RORY, both awake, both staring at the ceiling.)
LORELAI: Our floor is even more uncomfortable than that couch.
RORY: I didn’t think it was possible for anything to be more uncomfortable than that couch.
LORELAI: Hey, I love that couch.
RORY: (defensive) Me too.
LORELAI: (groans) Ehn, I can’t get up.
RORY: Then don’t.
LORELAI: Someone has to clean this place.
RORY: Since when?
LORELAI: Since we fell asleep watching Them last night and I had nightmares about ten foot long, radiation-mutated ants breaking in through the side of our house and paralyzing our already weak bodies with enough formic acid to kill twenty men, all just to steal our sugar.
RORY: Do they even have a name for what’s wrong with you?
LORELAI: Not yet. I’m still being studied.
RORY: (pondering) Do we have any sugar in this household?
LORELAI: Duh. There’s sugar in the melted ice cream that is laying mere inches from my face. (examining it) Oh, eww.
RORY: Right, the ice cream.
LORELAI: (softly) There tends to be copious amounts of sugar in your typical wallowing foods.
RORY: Yep.
(RORY sits up and tries to ease the kinks out of her stiff neck; LORELAI follows suit.)
LORELAI: Do you want to talk about it some more?
RORY: I think the whole Jess topic was exercised to death last night. And then we proceeded to beat it with a stick, or…a baseball bat. An aluminum baseball bat.
LORELAI: So that’s a no?
RORY: That’s a no more this morning.
LORELAI: You okay?
RORY: Fine. Just sore.
LORELAI: Well, why don’t you shower first? Steal all the hot water if you must. I’ll pick up out here. Our flamethrower is out of commission, and it’s common knowledge that a flamethrower is the only defense one has against a giant ant.
RORY: (smiling) That movie is classic, isn’t it?
LORELAI: Top five, easily.
(RORY nods and stands up, stretching quickly and heading for the stairs.)
RORY: I won’t be too long.
LORELAI: I’ll have coffee waiting!
(LORELAI looks back to the living room and furrows her brow, unsure of where to start. Instead of beginning the overwhelming task, she lies back down and covers her face with a pillow.)
..::OPENING CREDITS::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOME::.. (LORELAI comes hopping downstairs while putting on a shoe. RORY is sitting on the couch with her laptop open.)
LORELAI: Did you see how graceful I was there?
RORY: (distracted) Uh-huh.
LORELAI: Liar. But since you’re doing schoolwork, I’ll refrain from being offended.
RORY: (glancing up) Instead, you’ll be upset that you’re not the center of attention.
LORELAI: (gasping) I am not going to dignify that with a response.
RORY: ‘Cause I’m right.
LORELAI: (plopping down next to her) So what are you up to?
RORY: Actually, I have an essay that I wanted to work on, if it’s okay that I stay here. If I’m outside of my dorm, Paris is there, and the dorm itself gets noisy. Michelle and Julie are involved in a bit of a roommate war, and I’d rather not get put in the middle.
LORELAI: Of course you can stay.
RORY: Thanks.
LORELAI: So, that’s it? Just a lazy Sunday with Jeeves and dictionaries?
RORY: Pretty much.
LORELAI: No Jess on the schedule?
RORY: (pensively) Nope.
LORELAI: I really think you should talk to him, Rory.
RORY: I really just want to work on this essay, if you don’t mind.
LORELAI: (sighing) If you’re going to ignore this, then I have to butt in here, kid.
RORY: (hopefully) Actually, you don’t have to do anything.
LORELAI: You’re going to be miserable until this is fixed.
RORY: Maybe there’s nothing to fix.
LORELAI: Do you really believe that?
RORY: I just don’t want to deal with this right now, okay?
LORELAI: No, not okay. Rory, you’re a big kid and this is a big kid problem that you can’t just overlook.
RORY: I thought you would’ve been over the moon to find out that we’re not…that we…that I…
LORELAI: You know that I have my reservations about this guy–
RORY: Reservations that you insist on reminding me of at every possible second.
LORELAI: Look, you’ve been saying it forever, and on some level, you’re right; I don’t know him like you do. And there must be something there if you’re going to be this upset about a fight and–
RORY: It was more than a fight, mom.
LORELAI: It doesn’t have to be if you’d just talk to him.
RORY: He won’t want to.
LORELAI: Who cares what he wants? (Off of RORY’S warning look, she continues) Oh, you know what I mean.
RORY: I just need to think about it, alright? Or, not think about it. (gesturing to the computer) I need to do this right now and deal with Jess later.
LORELAI: (relenting) Okay. I’m going to go meet Sookie for lunch. I think we’re finally going to pick a date to break ground on the inn.
RORY: Like with a ceremony and everything?
LORELAI: We’ll all wear hardhats and shovel a scoop of dirt at the same time.
RORY: And I’ll take a picture, and we’ll frame it and put it in the lobby when you open.
LORELAI: Just like Donald Trump. Only in heels, and with way better hair.
RORY: (sincerely) That’s great, mom, really.
LORELAI: Hey, maybe you’ll have talked to Jess by dinner?
RORY: (uncomfortably) Sure. Maybe.
(LORELAI kisses her on the forehead and heads for the door. RORY turns and calls after her.)
RORY: Hey mom? I didn’t mean to not tell you. About my plans to stay with Jess this weekend. You would have known about it. I just…
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: I don’t like that we can’t talk about…him.
LORELAI: I don’t either. But I think we’ve made some headway, don’t you?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: And for the record, I really think you should talk to him.
RORY: Okay.
(RORY offers LORELAI a small but sad smile and turns back to her schoolwork. LORELAI looks after her contemplatively before picking up her purse and exiting the house.)
(SCENE CUT TO DINER. LORELAI enters and sits at the counter, greeting JESS with an overly chipper smile.)
LORELAI: Good morning, Starshine! Can we talk?
(Instead of responding, JESS pours her a cup of coffee.)
LORELAI: (keeping the upbeat tone) Will you just listen, then?
JESS: I make no promises.
LORELAI: (sighing) Rory’s really upset, Jess.
JESS: (shrugs) Doesn’t concern me, now does it?
LORELAI: Look, I get that you’re stubborn. Trust me, if anyone is going to get that, it’s going to be me. Me, the woman who has purposefully, on numerous occasions, made the faux pas of pairing black with navy blue just to piss off my always fashion-conscious mother. But the thing is, I may have passed that little smidge of a stubborn streak onto my otherwise charming and levelheaded daughter. Therein lies our problem.
JESS: Our problem? (wryly) You hate me.
LORELAI: I may dislike you with an unbridled passion that resides deep within my soul, yes, but for some reason still unknown to god and myself, Rory does not.
JESS: She’s the one who started this. If she wants to fix it, she knows where to find me.
LORELAI: You had a part in this, too. You are half of the whole relationship, buddy.
JESS: Whatever.
LORELAI: (exasperated) It’s just a stupid fight that-
JESS: Is that what she told you? (shaking head) Huh.
LORELAI: She didn’t mean it, Jess. You two just need to talk.
JESS: Then why isn’t she here?
LORELAI: She didn’t send me, if that’s what you’re wondering.
JESS: If you say so.
LORELAI: (scowling) You are quite possibly the most aggravating person on the face of this earth, right above Star Jones but only a few notches below Michel.
JESS: Stop it, you’re making me blush.
LORELAI: Fine. I give up.
(LORELAI snatches her purse off of the seat next to her and stands to leave. She gets to the door before doubling back in one fluid motion, stopping in front of the counter once more.)
LORELAI: I just have one more thing to say before I leave.
JESS: Shocker.
LORELAI: If you love her as much as she seems to think you do, or did, or what-ev-er, then you’ll drop that chip from your shoulder and at least listen to her, alright?
JESS: You want that coffee to go or what?
LORELAI: (gasping) You just surpassed Michel!
JESS: Should I do a dance?
LORELAI: (irately) Goodbye, Jess.
..::FIRST COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO WESTON’S BAKERY::.. (SOOKIE shuffles in carrying a leaflet of papers and sits down with LORELAI at a small table near the window.)
SOOKIE: I’m late. Am I late? I’m so sorry if I’m late.
LORELAI: You’re not late.
SOOKIE: I’m not? But, I’m always late. Always. (gasps) Oh my god, it’s because my watch broke.
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: My watch broke on Wednesday while I was washing my Messermeister butcher knife.
LORELAI: I keep telling you that you have to take it off before you do dishes.
SOOKIE: It hadn’t caused any problems before.
LORELAI: Yes, but the repeated submersion of anything mechanical in soapy water will take its toll eventually. At least, I’d assume it would. I’ve never actually done dishes. Paper plates, plastic knives and forks. They work just as well, you know.
SOOKIE: But Messermeister butcher knives have to be hand washed and sharpened after every use to ensure a long shelf life.
LORELAI: Such a high-maintenance utensil.
SOOKIE: Anyway, my watch broke and now I’m show up to places on time.
LORELAI: Weird!
SOOKIE: I was early to my hair appointment yesterday, Lorelai. Early.
LORELAI: This is a good thing.
SOOKIE: It’s freaking me out.
LORELAI: (understandingly) Oh.
SOOKIE: (checking LORELAI’S watch) You’re sure I was one time?
LORELAI: (looking at watch hopefully) Well, maybe a little…nope. Right on time.
SOOKIE: Gah.
LORELAI: We’ll get you a new watch.
SOOKIE: Soon. I can’t handle this much longer.
(LORELAI notices the stack of papers that SOOKIE brought.)
LORELAI: Oh, are those the estimates?
SOOKIE: Yeah, Tom dropped them off this morning.
LORELAI: Well, let’s get started.
SOOKIE: And I was ready when Tom showed up. I wasn’t still in my robe, I wasn’t blow-drying my hair, and I didn’t just have eyeliner around the one eye, you know, and like you just looked through one of those telescope-y things that has ink around it, like in the Three Stooges and stuff. God, that’s so kitschy. But not this time. (unnerved) I was up and clean and dressed and I had eyeliner on both eyes.
LORELAI: (seriously) You have got to calm down about this.
(SCENE CUT TO WOODBURY. Band’s house. JESS the house to find LANE and DAVE making out on the couch/futon/DAVE’S makeshift bed. They both hear the door open, but DAVE seems unfazed. LANE, however, jumps away from him and bats at his hands.)
LANE: Jess, hi.
JESS: Am I interrupting something?
(LANE and DAVE answer him simultaneously.)
LANE: No!
DAVE: We were celebrating!
(JESS raises an eyebrow and begins backing towards the door.)
JESS: I’ll come back later.
LANE: No need for that. I’m just…I’m gonna go…
(JESS continues eyeing her, waiting for a response.)
LANE: Well, this is awkward.
DAVE: (to JESS) Next time we’ll hang a sock or a sign or something.
LANE: No we won’t.
JESS: I’m just gonna go to my room.
DAVE: Wait! Don’t you want to know what we’re celebrating?
JESS: I really don’t think I do.
DAVE: I got a job!
JESS: You have a job. You work at Kinko’s.
DAVE: And I was working about ten hours a week. Which is great when you’re living at home, but I have expenses now. So, I found a new job.
JESS: (relenting) What’s your new job, Dave?
DAVE: I’m Miss Patty’s personal assistant!
JESS: What?
DAVE: (excited) I know, right? I went to the dance studio yesterday to ask her if she knew of anything open around town, ‘cause she knows those things–
LANE: She knows everything.
DAVE: Exactly. And we got to talking and she told me that she needs some help around the dance studio, and before I knew it, Bob’s your uncle, I had the job.
(A shocked and disturbed JESS pulls a worn barstool out from under the counter.)
JESS: And I need to sit down.
DAVE: (con’t) I’ll be helping her set up for her “Young with Yoga” classes and her “Brood of Ballerinas” seminars and stuff. And she said that after I get the hang of things, maybe I could instruct my own palates beginners group.
JESS: Oh my god.
DAVE: Pretty exciting, huh?
JESS: Sure. (sarcastically) Very rock and roll.
DAVE: Hey, all the greats had to suffer for their art, okay? I’m merely doing what I have to do until we get a new bassist and a new lead singer, and then a manager and a record deal and an actual record and a chart topping single and incalculable wealth. And don’t expect me to share that wealth with you once it comes along.
JESS: I’ll stop counting on that money for my future, then.
DAVE: (matter-of-factly) Plus, she’s paying my double what I was making before.
JESS: Okay.
DAVE: And winter’s coming, and we’re going to need heat. Don’t you want heat?
JESS: I’m not saying anything else.
DAVE: And food, we need food. And then there are holidays, and my lady here is getting a gift. An expensive one. Well, moderately expensive. Don’t have that incalculable wealth yet, but it’s the thought that counts. (to LANE) The point is, it won’t be made out of Popsicle sticks again, I promise.
LANE: You’re sweet.
JESS: Just darling.
DAVE: (jumps up) I’m gonna go get us a pizza. A celebratory pizza. And I’m getting extra cheese, ‘cause I can afford that now!
LANE: Ooh, and breadsticks!
DAVE: I’m not rich, Lane.
JESS: (reluctantly) I’ll pay for the breadsticks.
DAVE: Breadsticks it is, then!
(DAVE grabs his jacket rushes out the door. JESS shakes his head and stands up, heading for his room. LANE turns around on the couch to face him.)
LANE: Sorry about that. The, uh, kissing.
JESS: Not a problem. I’d go with Dave’s idea about the sign, though.
LANE: Okay. Yeah, good.
(JESS nods. LANE doesn’t say anything else, so JESS begins down the hallway again.)
LANE: Uh, Jess?
(JESS backtracks back into the living room.)
JESS: Yeah?
LANE: Are you okay?
JESS: I’m peachy-keen.
LANE: Jess, come on.
JESS: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
LANE: I know what happened.
JESS: Okay.
LANE: Well, I just wanted to make sure that you’re…okay.
JESS: I’m fine.
LANE: She’s not.
JESS: Not my problem.
LANE: Doesn’t mean you don’t care.
JESS: Why am I supposed to fix this?
LANE: What?
JESS: First Lorelai, now you. I did not do this, and I do not have to fix it.
LANE: I didn’t mean that.
JESS: Right.
LANE: Jess, I didn’t. Look, Rory screwed up. And you’re my friend, too. Kind of. I mean, we are roommates, so that says something about the fact that we get along well enough to share the same living space, which may suggest friendship to some.
(When JESS doesn’t respond, LANE continues.)
LANE: I don’t know what I’m saying. Just…nevermind.
(JESS continues to his room and the door closes softly. LANE turns around on the couch and turns on TV, only to turn it off immediately. Instead, the moves over to the stereo and puts on “Boys Don’t Cry” by the Cure and turns it up. She sits back down on the couch and wait for a few moments. JESS soon appears from the back of the house and sits next to her.)
JESS: Very funny.
LANE: I thought so.
JESS: Good song, though.
LANE: Definitely.
..::SECOND COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO STARS HOLLOW::.. (Gazebo. LINDSAY is sitting on a bench, looking around expectantly. Suddenly, she jumps up and greets DEAN, whom she was waiting for.)
LINDSAY: Hey!
(She tips her head up and kisses him.)
DEAN: Hey. What’s got you in such a good mood?
LINDSAY: I’m just excited to see you.
DEAN: That’s good.
LINDSAY: And I’ve made a decision. About what you asked. The other day, do you remember?
DEAN: Of course I remember. (laughing) I’m assuming you’re happy with the decision?
LINDSAY: Well, Dean, I really am.
DEAN: And?
LINDSAY: And I have to be honest with you. At first, I didn’t think it was a good idea. (DEAN’S face falls, but LINDSAY smiles reassuringly) But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. We’d share expenses, we’d see more of each other. So, yes. I want to move in with you.
DEAN: (thrilled) Really?
LINDSAY: Yes!
DEAN: Oh my god!
LINDSAY: I know!
(DEAN envelops LINDSAY in an overjoyed hug. LINDSAY hugs him back as a look of contentment fades into one of apprehension.)
(SCENE CUT TO WOODBURY. Band’s house, night. The sounds of heavy bass and punk rock emanate from an open window. RORY reaches the porch and knocks loudly, trying to overcome the noise. While waiting, she wrings her hands nervously. JESS answers the door and steps back, shock evident on his face.)
JESS: Hey.
(RORY gives him a short wave without looking at him. JESS closes the door behind him, barely dulling the music. He motions to the yard and she follows him, both coming to a stop in front of the Jeep.)
RORY: My mom let me borrow the car.
JESS: Oh.
RORY: Party?
JESS: Dave got a new job.
RORY: Oh.
JESS: He’s a little too excited.
(RORY nods and looks down again, poking at the dirt with the toe of her shoe. The two stand in silence for a few moments, neither making eye contact. JESS sighs and RORY puts on a determined face and begins an almost frantic rant.)
RORY: I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry. I overreacted. I was hurt — I still am hurt. But I didn’t mean to take it that far. I didn’t mean to…I-I didn’t.
(JESS doesn’t seem phased by her words, causing tears to gather behind her eyes.)
RORY: (pleading) I’m sorry, Jess, please. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. Please.
JESS: I was going to tell you.
RORY: I know you were, I know, I should have waited for you to come to me, I should have. I completely overreacted, and I am so sorry.
JESS: You don’t have to keep saying that.
RORY: Yes I do, because I said horrible things to you and about you, about us. And I am so-
JESS: Rory-
RORY: (quickly) I didn’t mean it.
JESS: Okay.
RORY: Okay?
JESS: (shrugging) You’re sorry, I’m sorry. (nods) Okay.
RORY: I thought that…well, when you just walked away like that, I thought that you wanted to break up, too. Not that I wanted to break up, but I thought that you thought that I wanted to, and I thought that you were agreeing. (pause) That really scared me, Jess. I don’t want…
JESS: I love you.
(RORY stops talking, mouth slightly agape, obviously not expecting such an earnest admission.)
JESS: I don’t say it enough, I know. But I do.
RORY: I know you do.
JESS: I don’t do this whole…communication thing very well sometimes. You know that.
RORY: (nodding) I do.
JESS: Just, be patient, okay? Don’t give up on me just yet.
RORY: Okay.
JESS: And I- I’ll say it more.
RORY: You don’t have to.
JESS: But I should.
RORY: (smiling) I love you, too, Jess.
JESS: Good to know.
RORY: God, I hate that we lost our weekend.
JESS: Only some of it. Just one day.
RORY: (sadly) And one night.
JESS: Next Saturday?
RORY: That’s a whole week away.
JESS: I know.
RORY: (sweetly) Move to Yale with me.
JESS: I don’t actually go there.
RORY: We’ll doctor some papers.
JESS: They don’t have co-ed dorm rooms.
RORY: Well, Jessica, we’ll just dress you in drag and pass you off as a masculine woman.
JESS: I’m insulted.
RORY: Are you?
JESS: I’d be a very masculine woman.
RORY: Oh, my mistake.
JESS: So, we do all of that, and then-
RORY: And then we could see each other whenever we wanted to.
JESS: ‘Cause we’d be living together.
RORY: Exactly. (realizing what she’s implied, she adds awkwardly) Well, hypothetically, that is.
JESS: So, hypothetically, you’d want to move in with me.
RORY: Hypothetically? (pauses) I miss you. A lot.
JESS: Huh.
RORY: (sheepishly) Did I mention how sorry I was?
JESS: I think so.
RORY: Okay.
JESS: You want to come in?
RORY: That depends. Are you going to ask me to spend the night?
JESS: Don’t you have studying to do, Miss Ivy League?
RORY: I’ll have tomorrow afternoon.
JESS: Your mom doesn’t need the car?
RORY: She doesn’t work on Sunday. So, can I stay?
(JESS takes her face in his hands and nods, leaning closer to capture her lips in an insanely passionate kiss.)
(SCENE CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE. LORELAI answers a knock at the door.)
LORELAI: Took you long enough!
LUKE: You just called me ten minutes ago. This was record time.
LORELAI: (grabbing the bag from his hands) I haven’t eaten in hours.
(LUKE follows her inside and closes the door. She continues complaining as they enter the kitchen, where she begins dumping the burger and fries out of the bag. He takes a seat and listens intently.)
LORELAI: Sookie and I met this morning to make some actual headway on preparations for the inn, and then we had a meeting with Tom that lasted two hours longer than it should have, and then we went straight to Hartford after that for a quick face-to-face with this designer. Now, I know what you’re thinking. We don’t even have walls yet; why do we need a designer? Well, this chick has some ubber amazing credentials, and you need to book her months in advance.
LUKE: So, did you book her?
LORELAI: (flippantly) Oh, god no. Too expensive. Besides, we don’t even have walls yet.
LUKE: So you took the meeting with her because…
LORELAI: Because we wanted to look through her books and steal her ideas. Plus, we got to pretend to be rich for a few hours.
LUKE: How’d that go?
LORELAI: Well, I’m a great actress. We’re talking Oscar-worthy, babe.
(LORELAI stops short and leans down to kiss him.)
LORELAI: Hi, by the way. I think I forgot that part.
LUKE: Hey yourself.
(LORELAI sits next to him and unwraps her burger.)
LORELAI: So hungry.
LUKE: You could have just come to the diner if you were starving.
(LORELAI shakes her head and talks through a mouthful of food.)
LORELAI: I gave Rory the car, and I was too weak to walk.
LUKE: Rory’s car break down or something?
LORELAI: No, she left it at school. It’s kind of a long story. She was gonna spend the weekend with Jess, but they had a fight, and so she was here, but she decided she wanted to talk to him, so I let her take my car, and then I was stranded here and Pete is the only guy in town that delivers, and I really wasn’t in the mood for pizza, and that is where you come in handy.
LUKE: I feel used.
LORELAI: My heart is breaking. Ooh, hot sauce!
LUKE: What?
(LORELAI jumps up and rummages through the fridge.)
LORELAI: Hot sauce, for the burger and fries. Duh.
LUKE: My mistake.
LORELAI: (sitting back down) Aren’t you eating?
LUKE: No, I already had dinner. I didn’t realize I’d be summoned over here to cater to you.
LORELAI: (waving a french fry in his face) You don’t want one?
LUKE: I’ll pass.
LORELAI: I don’t think you know what you’re missing. (jumping) Oh, wanna watch a movie?
LUKE: I’m here, aren’t I?
LORELAI: Don’t sound so excited.
LUKE: Nothing fruity. Nothing with David Bowie or Molly Ringwald.
(LORELAI gasps and throws a fry at him, hitting him in the face. She then rises from her seat and huffs off to the living room.)
LUKE: (calling after her) Nothing with Madonna, either.
LORELAI: (OS) But A League of Their Own is actually a good movie! And you like baseball!
..::THIRD COMMERCIAL BREAK::..
..::SCENE OPEN TO GILMORE HOUSE::.. (Morning; RORY enters the house and tosses her keys onto the table in the entryway.)
RORY: Mom? Mom!
(When she gets no response, she moves into the living room just as LORELAI barrels down the stairs in a slinky pink robe.)
LORELAI: Shh, shh, shh.
(RORY looks around and continues in a hushed whisper.)
RORY: What’s wrong?
LORELAI: (quietly) Luke’s here.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Luke is here.
RORY: He spent the night?
LORELAI: (nodding furiously) Uh-huh.
RORY: (excited) Oh my god!
LORELAI: (grinning) I know!
RORY: (taken aback) Oh my god.
LORELAI: Whoa, change of tone.
RORY: Luke’s in our house. Naked. He’s naked and he’s in our house and I’m here and I should not be here.
LORELAI: (nodding) Yeah, okay. (pushing her towards the door) Go.
RORY: You’re kicking me out?
LORELAI: Do you want to see Luke walk down those stairs in nothing but his birthday suit?
RORY: (scrunching up her face) No!
LORELAI: Then high tail it out of here, missy.
RORY: I’m gone.
(RORY continues to the door and LORELAI begins going up the stairs before stopping on the landing and turning to her daughter.)
LORELAI: Psst, Ror.
RORY: Huh?
LORELAI: You and Jess okay?
RORY: Yeah, we’re good. He’s gonna drive me back to school later.
LORELAI: Aw, hon, I’m glad.
RORY: Me too.
LORELAI: (smiling) Well, don’t dawdle. Go!
(RORY nods and leaves quickly and LORELAI grins to herself before hurrying up the stairs.)
(SCENE CUT TO STARS HOLLOW. Mid-morning. RORY and JESS are walking around town arm-in-arm.)
RORY: You went to visit my grandpa!
JESS: Are you mocking me?
RORY: I’m shocked and amused.
JESS: I was in the area. (sarcastically) It would have been rude not to stop by.
RORY: Would you have “stopped by” to see my grandma?
(JESS gives her a skeptical look.)
RORY: See, you two are friends! It’s cute.
JESS: This is why I didn’t tell you.
RORY: (swatting his arm) And how dare you give him a book before me.
JESS: ‘Cause you’re so good at sharing.
RORY: Hey, come on. I loaned you that Kerouac book, Desolation Angels.
JESS: Three weeks after I asked for it.
RORY: I was in the middle of reading it.
JESS: By the time you gave it to me, I’d already bought myself a copy.
RORY: It’s not my fault you’re impatient.
JESS: And it’s not my fault that you’re a slow reader.
RORY: And we are stopping this conversation right now.
JESS: Giving up?
RORY: No, just stepping in before blood is shed. So, tell me about your new job.
JESS: It’s not a new job.
RORY: (smiling) So, tell me about your new job.
JESS: I’m doing the same stuff that I was doing before.
RORY: Then why’s it called a promotion, mister?
JESS: ‘Cause instead of just moving stuff around, I can tell other people to move stuff around, too.
RORY: You’re the boss!
JESS: Not the boss. I’m like…the middle man.
RORY: You’re the boss of the lower men.
JESS: Sure.
RORY: Now you’re just humoring me.
JESS: Uh-huh.
RORY: Aren’t you excited?
JESS: Nope.
RORY: Not at all?
JESS: Not at all.
RORY: Did you get a raise?
JESS: (shrugs) Eh, sorta.
RORY: Are you excited about that?
JESS: If I say yes will you quit asking me?
RORY: Yes.
JESS: Then, yes, I was ecstatic.
RORY: Good.
(The two walk past MISS PATTY’S and wave at DAVE, who is standing in the doorway, overseeing a bunch of five-year olds working on an autumn leaf dance. He waves back eagerly before turning to PATTY for further instructions.)
RORY: That’s gonna be weird.
JESS: Oh, yeah.
..::END SHOW::..
A/N: I fixed it! :p I couldn't keep 'em apart, you all know that! Hope you liked this one. Drop me a review if you can! Thanks for reading. :)
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